That unavoidable, dreaded day is fast approaching.
That day you want to crawl into a little hole and disappear. The day you want
to dodge every opportunity for small talk with every person. The day you wish
you could call in sick. Thank goodness it’s not Groundhog Day, because you
would hate to repeat this day over and over again. Yes, it’s the Hallmark
Holiday, the I-Am-Single-and-It-Sucks day, Valentine’s Day.
Maybe I’m being overdramatic, but for many singles, it
seems Valentine’s Day comes directly from H-e-double-hockey-sticks to cause us
major pain and discontentment. Any self-confidence we once had about being
single goes out the window when people ask us that dreaded question, “What are
you doing for Valentine’s Day?” So we have to think fast to make whatever it
was we didn’t plan sound super exciting, like “We’re going out to eat sushi and
see a movie” and by “going out” you really mean across the street to buy sushi
and rent a Redbox at the grocery store, and by “we” you mean the royal me,
myself, and I. Or you say something like, “I have a hot date tonight” and leave
out the prepositional phrase “with my grandma.”
Facebook only antagonizes us more, with all of our
friends posting comments like, “I have the best husband in the world! He
brought me breakfast in bed” and “I’m engaged! Best Valentine’s Day ever!”
These comments make us wish it was socially acceptable to dress in black and
throw a “I Hate Valentine’s Day” party like in the movies.
So how do we face Valentine’s Day head on, without
feeling insecure, or hurt, or lonely? Here are a few ideas:
1. Remember Who We Are This point could be
explained in an entire separate post, but for now, I will just say that we need
to listen to what the Father says we are, not what society says we are. Society
seems to say we’re nothing if we don’t have a boyfriend, but God says: We are
children of God (1 John 3:1). We are chosen by God and dearly loved (Colossians
3:12). We are his Bride (Revelations 21:2). We are loved so much that Jesus
died for us (John 3:16). A man may very well die for a good person, but Jesus
died for us when we were complete and utter sinners, helpless to do anything to
save ourselves or do anything pleasing for him (Romans 5:6-11). That’s real,
selfless love. We are loved, not losers.
2. Be Proactive While we might hate
Valentine’s Day and the subsequent festivities, one of the worst things we can
do to ourselves is to plan nothing, and then sit at home having a pity party.
This allows us extra time to dwell on the fact that we are single and/or boyfriendless.
So whether it’s Valentine’s Day themed or not, be proactive about planning
something to do with others. Go to a movie, have a girl’s night in, host a game
night—whatever. But don’t wait until Valentine’s Day to realize that you don’t
want to sit at home alone.
3. Think of others Sometimes we can be so focused
on ourselves and our singleness that we forget about those around us who also
feel lonely on Valentine’s Day. Maybe you know of a widow at church, or a
divorced colleague, or another friend who’s single. Take them out to dinner or
a movie, send them a card, give them flowers. I guarantee it’ll take away a
little of the sting of being alone on Valentine’s Day. As Jesus said, “It’s
more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35b). A few years ago, I decided
to take my grandma out to dinner, and until now (I’m overseas), it’s been an
annual event. She loves to be treated since she’s
been treating the grandkids for so many years, and I love spending one-on-one time
with her outside of the normal large family gatherings.
4. Avoid Facebook Recent research
about Facebook came out, and its
influence on users is not pretty. Facebook actually reduces the users’ “life
satisfaction.” In other words, it makes us discontent with our lives. So if you
don’t want to be more discontent on
Valentine’s Day, don’t log on to read all of the news feed about what someone’s
best-husband-in-the-entire-world did.
So don’t let
the red and pink make you blue. Remember that your worth does not come from
having a lover, but from God. Be proactive about doing something on Valentine’s
Day. Remember others who may also be alone. And finally, avoid Facebook, at
least on the dreaded day. These are just a few suggestions for surviving the
Hallmark Holiday.
What are your suggestions
for how to survive Valentine’s Day as a single?
